Diario de una crisis

11/04/2023

First writing of this journal...

"We meet again in the middle of these letters, like the old acquaintances we are. Today I want to share with you that this series has two parts, the first one was written in 2019 in a very difficult season of my life where I was looking for many answers and wished with all my heart to get them soon, it was before the pandemic and every day I woke up agitated and anxious about the beginning of the day, I went from a very active season in my life to having to decide what I would follow for my life, I felt a little lost and with a lot of uncertainty of the future, However and in spite of myself the only place where I felt safe was locked up with dad praying, listening to songs that I dedicated to him constantly, and listening to his voice in that dark season, however at the same time I was surrounded by his colors that shone every time I decided to close my door and meet him, reminding me that I was like a little girl dancing and his colors spreading in the middle of a very gloomy panorama.

The second part of this series, it's fresh, it's something I'm going through but I decided to do it because it's a season to be vulnerable and realize that I'm not the only one going through this and that just as it happened in 2019 Jesus is still the answer for my doubts, anxieties and sadness, that he is the solution to the anxiety that wants to embrace us and even drown us, and that he is the reason to be well, and the safest place in the world. I continue to experience moments of deep sadness that I don't understand, but I can see his hand in this season, I can see a family that sustains me and friends that fill me with their love and their beautiful words, writing continues to be something that sets my heart on fire and that I continue to be passionate about, and although many of my lyrics in this season have become tangled and have no sense and sometimes even want to go towards existentialism and despair, always the path of the letters and my steps remind me who is my beginning and who sustains me until the end, that in him I have hope, and that he is my sense of life and who redirects me towards the light and the colors of life. And if you are going through something similar, I want you to remember today that, although there is darkness, a dark night, there is always a sky full of stars that never stop shining, you can always see the moon in the middle of the fog, and there are beautiful things that want to continue shining, there are always colors that want to come out and remind you of the beauty of this life, that remind you of the purpose and direction. You can do it alone, but I assure you that there will be no greater satisfaction than knowing that we are not in this world abandoned in our sorrows, but that the here and now have a more transcendental meaning than to exist only in pain and constant loneliness. Today I share these letters with you, convinced that in the midst of a world full of despair, clinging to someone greater than our fears is the security we need to live fully rather than surviving in drowning. I am not alone, we are not alone, let us pass the dark valleys by his hand. Welcome to this small but heartfelt journal extracting the most valuable from the not so pretty, I continue to believe that difficult circumstances are only God's instrument to put in us the truth of enduring to the end, he puts a mature love and resilience to not see us as victims of circumstances but as living testimonies of what only a loving God can do in the midst of precarious circumstances. "

I hope to continue to meet you next Monday through this small but sincere journal.....